Ok, so I wronged someone (not mentioning names) pretty badly. I said things I didn't even mean. And all because I was being pressured to. Not because I actually felt that way.
He (or she) hasn't talked to me in months, and when I tried to apologize about a month ago..he seemed to ignore it. I feel awful. Like, you have no idea.
I read back over our argument (Facebook conversation) and I feel worse every. single. time.
I can't even really explain what I was thinking. If I could, I'd take it back in a heartbeat. I miss talking to him (or her) a lot.
I made a mistake.
The funny thing is..most people think that forgiveness is always given when you apologize. It's not. I thought once I said "sorry" that things would be ok again. And I was wrong. They aren't. Obviously.
I can't blame him (or her). I'd probably be ignoring someone that did what I did too.
Of course, I'm still hoping that somehow things will go back to normal..and be alright, but for now, that doesn't seem likely. So, I'll wait..and wait..and wait..and wait some more.
Knowing someone doesn't forgive me...doesn't feel so great. But, of course, it probably didn't feel good when I wronged him (or her) in the first place.
I'm so, so, so, so, so sorry :(
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